Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Ground State

Bound within our happy little molecules of families,
Each of us is ultimately alone, an atom.
The energies of life kick us up to excited states
("orbitals" in my HS chemistry class)
Only to fall back to ground again,
Sighing a photon or two,
To resume our inherent selves.

At your lowest energy level,
Just before you sleep,
You (if fortunate) curl up entwined with your love.
At the intimate heart of your relationship,
The simple act of touching
Returns you to ground state every night.

--WF

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Hierarchy of Deeds

(This is not to be confused with the "Hierarchy of Needs" devised by Abraham Maslow (whom I researched as an undergrad, obtaining gracious interviews with his widow Bertha and his non-academic disciple Andrew Kay, plus one brief phone call with a very cranky Carl Rogers.))

My daughters (I have so many of them) do some stuff that I praise to the skies and some that drive me nuts. It must seem arbitrary to them, but to me certain things are a better use of their time.

Here's a list in order of what I'd rather they be doing if it's available or needs to be done (though we're pretty laid back about it).

  1. Playing musical instruments
  2. Doing homework
  3. Creative writing
  4. Sleeping
  5. Talking to relatives (though seldom)
  6. Chores
  7. Playing with friends
  8. Outdoor exercise, playing with pets
  9. Cooking for fun
  10. Reading, chess
  11. Crafts, drawing, photography
  12. Playing Wii with friends
  13. Computer games, texting, Facebook
  14. Watching DVDs
  15. Watching fashion/cooking shows
  16. Watching animation
  17. Watching teen Nickelodeon/Disney

So, what would you add or change?

--WF

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Crawl Space

Hey campers, scoot in through this hole in the wall. Welcome to the crawl space. I’m just putting in some insulation the builder forgot 50 years ago. It’s snug in here but not too dusty, and I haven’t heard a mouse in weeks. Yes, I am a bit tall and old to be doing this, but I actually kind of like it. And I’m glad you’re with me here.

I have a friend who spent a lot of time in her bedroom closet growing up, just to escape her crazy family. She’d read or do homework or just sit quietly where, for a moment anyway, everything was calm and unsurprising.

When I was a kid we had a tri-level house with a three-foot-tall space beneath the living room and dining room and kitchen; I could get in there through a louvered door under a bookshelf. It was dry and clean with a concrete floor and cinder block walls and lights on the ceiling. It also was warm in the winter because it was home to a furnace that, unlike many of us, was made to thrive with limited headroom.

I set up a train set, and did chemistry experiments, and made radios in that crawl space, but mostly I spent time in there insulated from noise and nuttiness. Just like bacteria and frogs and vines, kids choose the best environment available under the circumstances.

My kids are as old now as I was then. I teach them simple rules like heat goes up, and water flows down, and things need ventilation lest they rot, and that everyone is entitled to private space and time. They teach me about friendship and trust and simple warm connection.

In this crawl space I’m installing new insulation where it belongs: On the walls that separate inside warmth from outside cold. I don’t need to spend more time in here than that. But I’ve learned that it can take years to remove old insulation.

--WF

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Resistance is Futile

Note: This is not about Star Trek, or Google, or Lady Gaga. It’s about fixing stuff.

“Dad, the piano’s broken!” I gently removed my daughter from her keyboard, wiggled some wires, turned things off and on, and agreed, “Yup.” The notes sounded right but were very faint. I changed the speakers, checked the power cube’s voltage, and poked at the output jack; nothing helped. Dang. It needed actual repair.

This was another Craigslist find, an electronic stage piano built a decade ago. We couldn’t afford to have it in the shop for weeks because my daughter needed to practice, and I didn’t want to risk it coming back with a large bill for shoddy work only to break again.

Oh, all right. I’d try to fix it myself.

This piano is old-school sturdy: 40 lbs of steel and MDF (medium density fiberboard; if wood were beef steak, MDF would be a very hearty meatloaf.) A web search found praise for its reliability but no service manual or schematic. The manufacturer didn’t even list it as one of their own.

I flipped it belly-up onto a sofa. The bottom had two dozen benign screws around the edges and ten wicked-looking ones in the middle (probably holding the keys onto the wood; I’d not touch them unless things got really bad). I removed the less-scary screws and the piano fell into top and bottom pieces connected by short bundles of orange wires.

Two circuit boards were bolted to the top shell, one with buttons and lights and one with all the jacks. They could unplug from the orange bundles, but themselves were made inseparable by a stiff wire bridge into a pair of flat green nunchucks.

My diagnostic tools had dwindled to a cheap Radio Shack meter (having sold my oscilloscope to a grad student who drove from NYC with his girlfriend to fetch it.) So with the tool I had, I measured what I could -- DC voltage and resistance. After a few fruitless checks I knew: Without a diagram, I had no plan.

Oh, all right. I had to draw a schematic.

The process is not unlike dissecting a fish to make an anatomical drawing, only less messy and you end up with symbols instead of literal pictures. I removed the circuit boards and sat at the dining room table with a big sheet of paper. I turned the boards over and over, tracing the path of each lead from each component along its track underneath until it connected to another component.

The parts were all comfortingly familiar, and I found that I could still read them; I remembered how to find part numbers and values and knew exactly what each one does. I patiently read the physical reality of the dozens of components and translated them to arcane schematic symbols. (Every business -- horses, newspapers, sailing -- has its private language and signs like this; they’re efficient shorthand for insiders, effectively mystify outsiders, and provide a very satisfying accomplishment when an apprentice, who was an outsider, finally becomes an insider.)

Once on paper I could see what the circuit was supposed to do, as though the designer, half a world and ten years away, were next to me to explaining what he did and why. It was obvious what parts were used as power supplies, as amplifiers, as muting circuits. It was all well marked and well done.

Now it was obvious what to check. The amplifiers, which should float halfway between their supply voltages, were stuck high, while their shared halfway-voltage reference was stuck low. Even after disconnecting the reference it was still stuck. As the reference only had three components, one of them had to be bad! I tested them in happy anticipation. One of them was dead! But instead of being an electrolytic capacitor (which, like that kid in school, is always your best first suspect) it turned out to be an open-circuited 10k resistor, worth about two cents and abundant in my junk bin. I found one and put it in. And the piano played.

Oh, all right. I guess I’m stuck being a tinker after all.

--WF

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Pretty Words, Strung Together

Too busy to write today, but let’s complete our musical trifecta with a nice young guy at work who’s been bugging me for a chance. Thanks for helping out, Jord.
_____

“Pretty Words, Strung Together”
by Jordan Leadfoot, the Folk Singer Wannabe who Works in IT

Sitting just two cubes away,
your dewy brightness sparkles
like my lawn on misty mornings
when the sun begins to peek.

Oh, but you’re a BC co-op
and your boyfriend goes to Harvard,
and I drive my mom’s old Ford
and got my GED last week.

Computer games and playing guitar
were all I ever learned, and
maybe dropping out of school
was not so smart.

Still I hope that you will listen to
These pretty words I’ve strung together.
Hope they’ll have a chance to win your heart.

On that wondrous day I met you
I’d just rolled your PC to your desk,
connecting it with special care
to give you all the best.

When I said some silly thing
and made you laugh and then you smiled at me,
I instantly was smitten
but still needed to impress.

So I’m getting Cisco certified,
and my boss said that he’ll help me
find a BSEE program
so I’ll get a better start.

But now all I have to give you
are these pretty words I’ve strung together
hoping that they’ll someday win your heart.

Although I know I got this job
because my uncle is the VP,
but still by now I’m flying right
and carrying my weight.

I figured out your Facebook page
but have not tried to friend you yet.
And I think that you’d reject me
if I asked you for a date.

But I see you’ve come to hear me
at this coffee house for open mike.
I know this is my only chance
to really play the part.

Now I don’t have much to offer
except sincerity and metaphors.
But these pretty words I’ve strung together
just might win your heart.
_____

p.s. Jord, best keep your day job.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Giving Thanks

I have not yet made
The irredeemable error,
The driving lapse,
The unfiltered word,
The lack of caution,
The mistaken touch,
The inattentive moment,
The slip
That changes everything
For the rest of my life.

--WF

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Guest Blogger: Dusty Ruination

Today’s guest blogger is Dusty Ruination, the Bad Cowboy Poet.
Take it away, Dusty...
________________

“Work Wife”
by Dusty Ruination

When I was working 9 to 5
I’d see those lovebirds in the lunch room
Leaning ‘cross their table over break.

She was a fading Celtic goddess,
He a graying jock, and they looked
Married twenty years if it’s a day.

But they weren’t wedded to each other.
Both had their own families and
Never saw each other otherwise.

No intimacies other than
The words that passed between them, but
They shared the closest hours of their lives.

He said,

Chorus:

I tell them you’re my “work wife
‘Cause we spend our days together
Swapping tales of how life is, and ought to be.

So let’s share another helping
Of this pure distilled attention.
Stealing time to give each other what we need.

Verse 2:

You have your husband, I my wife
And neither of us wants to wreck
a home, and we both dearly love our kids.

The consequences of flirtation
Best left to imagination,
Won’t allow what clearer thought forbids.

By mutual consent, not much:
No business trips, no lingering touch, and
No more than a peck upon the cheek.

But I see your beauty every day,
And given half a chance I’ll still
Respectfully admire your physique. ;-)

[Chorus]

Verse 3:

This modern working life is strange
That you and I can get to spend
More “couples time” than we do with our mates.

No matter what the weekend sees,
Our crazy friends, our families,
On Monday mornings sanity awaits.

Now my career has naught to show,
No patents and no IPO,
But still I’ve gained an unexpected wealth.

Your friendship is the finest thing
I’ve earned in all my wanderings.
You know me better than I know myself.

[Chorus]
________________
--WF