So Hot I’m Infra-Red

(Nerdcore rap, y’all)

Gotta’ have my tool kit
Just to see what is what,
And to calculate what others
Can assess with their gut.
I say, keepin’ it objective

Will preclude lookin’ lame,

And I know just what to use
So I can get me some game.

This infrared thermometer
(To me it is new)
Shows all the hotter things as red
And cooler things as blue.
‘Cuz it works so well on houses
It should also measure women.
So I’ll aim it at a prospect
And appraise her heat emission.

Here’s the other tool essential
In my geek armory:
It is called a stud finder,
And it’s meant for carpentry.
But I use it looking in the mirror
To check my self out tight.
And I’ll try out all my moves
Until I get the LEDs to light.

Now I’m fully instrumented
For empirical data.
I’ll be hittin’ all the clubs --
Oh yeah, I’m gonna be playah.

--WF

p.s. Who’s up for a video?