Note to a Young Round Goddess

(seen diving into a hotel swimming pool)

Dear Miss,

You are a great beauty.

Don't ever stop believing it, nor let anyone tell you otherwise.

Let me share some secrets, all true.

Your lovely round shape may not be what you see reflected in tv or today's fashion magazines, but look through fine art and read classic poetry by men of great talent and discerning eye, who could choose any woman in the world, and there you'll find yourself described in loving detail.

Regardless of what foolish friends or depressing family might have told you, outward attractiveness is based on certain longstanding principles -- not weight, not clothes, not makeup, not hair -- that can even be seen from a distance.

Waist to hip ratio: You have little control over this, as it's baked into men's hearts and into your own curvy body, but it works in your favor so you might as well glory in it. Science shows that the deepest part of a man's brain recognizes wide hips tapering to a narrower waist, not big breasts or a flat backside, as indicating a most desireable woman. It's simple hardwired ancient cave man stuff -- you can look it up.

It's old advice, but when you stand up straight and proud, and walk with a confident stride or a sultry sway (what folks used to call "a fine carriage;" being athletic in anything makes this easier) people see your health and confidence and feel good about you, and being with you makes them feel good about themselves. Amazing, but it actually works that way. Other people pick up on your positive energy and like to be with you; it's that simple.

More old advice: Your smile shows your desire to engage with whomever you bestow it on. Think of yourself as generously handing out your smile like a gift. Not the cold stingy smile of a diva, and not the pleading smile of a hungry puppy, but the happy radience of one who knows she has an infinite supply of something of great value, and who gains, not loses, by sharing it around. Smile and look into people's eyes and your beauty grows tenfold.

Most importantly, choose kind, generous, funny people to spend your time with. Avoid those who enjoy putting others down for sport to make themselves feel strong, or who encourage you to think less of yourself: they are corrosive to your soul. You may find some excellent and true friends among the marginalized -- the nerds, the gays, the musicians, the goths -- who have found a fierce love for themselves as God has made them, and who refuse to hate themselves or anyone else for who they are. Cherish them, because God loves those who first accept and love themselves.

Your sweet face is poised on the edge between doubt and delight in life; you are shy now, but will soon choose how to approach the world. With all my heart I wish you kindness and confidence. You already dive into the pool like a goddess; now take that feeling and let it fill you.

-- WF